Do our churches know how to disagree?
Over the last few months we've been supporting Sahlim Charles and RNC in Kenya on how churches deal with conflict internally. In 2023 the Hesabika Trust published a Code of Conduct asking churches to have a way of resolving disputes. That gap is what RNC is working to fill, and we're glad to be supporting.
It also made us think closer to home. A process for resolving conflict only helps if people are willing to use it, and that depends on what a church believes conflict is.
Many of us grew up thinking conflict in church means something has gone wrong, that a healthy church is one where nobody disagrees. So we don't talk about it, and call that unity.
In the Unity material we've been writing, the first idea we start with is that conflict is neutral. Look at Cain and Abel. God speaks to Cain before anything violent happens, warning him that sin is crouching at the door. God doesn't tell Cain his anger is wrong. He warns him about what he does next. Conflict is where our relationships get tested, and what we bring into it decides whether it does damage or leads somewhere better. Unity doesn't mean we all agree. It means we can disagree and still stay together.
Help us test it
We'd like to try this out with a small group. We're looking for 6 to 8 people to work through the Unity material together over 8-10 fortnightly 90 minute online sessions. It isn't a curriculum, it’s more like a workshop.
Each person brings a conflict from their own church life, one that's in the past and that you can talk about calmly. We will use the concepts in the Unity material as lenses to reflect on these real life situations together week to week. What's shared stays in the group (provided it’s not a safeguarding concern). By the end we’ll all have a clearer idea of what conflict postures, skills, and processes help to transform conflict into something positive.
This is a pilot, and it's unfinished. We want your honest feedback on what helps and what doesn't, so it's better for the churches we’ll be sharing it with later.
If you'd like to be part of this pilot, send an email to John.Hodge@seekpeace.co and we’ll be in touch to see if its a good fit.
